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As I left more good people and another job, memories made me numb. It was as if we first met and suddenly we had to say goodbye. I have a lifetime of moving and leaving people who I wished for a longer time with. Many partings created a longing to continue our friendship. After enough losses, my past acquaintances made loneliness a fear. As I was shaking hands with each of my new friends there was an unexpected moment that was less obvious during the last six months. The eye contact was the same now as it was with other friends of my past. So I left again and went home. At home I listened to music and a journey started the healing. By now I knew all too well the necessity of forgetting. Destiny depends on going forward with memories that should guide us in a positive direction. I needed an escape mechanism to continue so I got a beer, a good cigar, set down and watched "Gettysburg. " As I began drifting my dearest companion came home to help me cope. We both began watching the movie and slowly my day was lost to thought. The innocence of childhood guides each of us by giving brighter meaning to the light of our existence. Children handle aging better because youth makes the years pass with a more enjoyable outlook. My hair is gray now and changes happen faster, much to my regret. I remembered a place in history that I knew well. My knowledge of the spirit of American history was complete enough to sense the era and smell the aroma of honor, glory, and the inevitable. But this period in history, with its high standards for ethics and good moral values was stained with such violence and bloodshed that the prejudiced is still alive after 142 years. Suddenly as the cannons roared, the smell became strong enough to make the images of my mind becomes visions. They moved faster and what was left of the room began to swirl. The circular motion of the swirling created a wall of light around me. The rainbow colors move faster and faster until I was engulfed in pure white light. It was warming and soothing to my senses and I was lifted into the center of a sphere of celestial sights and sounds. The relaxed feeling made sleep in inevitable. I awoke in an unfamiliar place but the sense of belonging was overwhelming. Through the treetops came streams of color that warmed day. The sounds of birds and June bugs were surrounding me. Grass, covered with dew, had a velvet light touch. And the sweetness of the air had smelled of a different time. Somehow these sensations justified the righteousness of being here. I arose from a position of a long sleeping travel. Then entered a life of another destiny that focused only on who I am now, not on who I was, are will be. Suddenly I became completely aware of this earlier person's identity and the images of the past were concealed by visions of the present. I know who I am and where I am going on the road in front of me. And with a pure spirit and sound body the journey goes on. The red wet clay, of the three path road, is beckoning me. Walking seem natural for travel and today I will reach the grouping area for the new recruits in Thompson. Feelings of the cause helped make the way clear. By now the true reason for wanting to fight was not clear but the war gave new meaning to old ways. The years change good and old values. The losses felt so by many were reason enough. My brothers believed in the cause. They died at Manassas in the summer of 1861. Kenneth and Luke were full of the ways that make living so rewarding. They had hope and appreciated what they had. They helped everyone physically and emotionally by adding a more rewarding way to each one who knew them. However humanity makes mistakes, sometimes we all make bad decisions. My brothers were part of of a good people and family. Fighting was natural to them and they taught me well, but my sisters made our family shine brighter. It was as if the better Kenneth and Luke taught me to shoot and fight Daisy, Viola, and Sarah made life a little less serious and more fulfilling. All the family was close and enjoyed each other's company. These times made everyone a little short. Mother and father made them better. Both could read and write but mother could teach if she wanted to. Life was hard on all the family but hardest on Mama. The very lifes that she had brought into this world made her age beyond her times. Her earthly years gave her legs a blue tint but her spirit gave hope. Father's hard face showed the years of working in the sun and Mama gave us confidence in our beliefs. Together they gave us the courage to stand up for our beliefs and helped make our ideas a reality. The character that each of us developed was unique but our parents echanced each of our attributes with love and a positive direction in life. Kenneth and Luke's lose was hard on the family but Daddy felt the worst and a part of him began another segment of his journey.  Families Families are the core of each society and the heart and foundation of a great nation. I was raised in a loving and caring family enviroment. My father, who passed away too soon, was responsible for the success of my childhood family. He gave us pride in ourselves and the honor I value so much today. My mother whose great heart provided the Christian ethics that help all us handle the abuses that we encounter in each our lives. My sister, through all her pain and suffering is a strong and caring person and is an inspiration for those who need the strength to keep going. The traits that I care for so much comes from a good wholesome family. However in the American society of this day and time, people who believe in the righteous of Christian ethics are abused and taken advantage of. Even some Christains condemn good people who don't live up to their version of Christianity. My problem with success comes for being honest and trusting people. I truly believe a person is innocent until he or she does you wrong. This nieve attitude has not been much help when it comes to living in such a materialistic world. I don't have much money and the only wealth I have is the good life I tried to live. My belief in a better future for all good people comes from the fact that if enough of us get together maybe things will be better. Hope comes from togetherness and change comes from the majority. If enough of the right kind of people can trust again and unite maybe the injustice that all truly good people endure can be eliminated. The "inalienable right to life, liberty, and the persuit of happiness" for all. These words started the ideas for a country and they are for everyone no matter what race, color, creed, or background each of us come from. The time each of us waste discriminating aganist anyone could be used to help another. It is time for a change and hopefully the birth of a nation can be the beginning of a world of Americans. | Return Home | Gallery | Forum | Memorial Park | Great Links | Contact Us | Photos by Howard M Brown | |
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